


Sins and Virtues; Freedom and Security

by IceQueen975



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Gen, M/M, OCs will show up later, Seven Deadly Sins, Seven Heavenly Virtues, Spoilers, Time Loop, but not the focus, semi-crossover with my original work Memoirs of a Goddess, things are gonna be messy and Not Good
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-05 08:56:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11010153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceQueen975/pseuds/IceQueen975
Summary: Akira Kurusu should have been 23 years old going on to 24. He should have been in college. He should have been home. Instead, he is repeating the same year again and again and again. March 24th. The day haunts him. And it seems not even a God can stop it.





	1. March 24th

_‘Can you come over?’_

Futaba is a bit surprised at this. It’s 11 pm on a weekday yet Akira Kurusu was asking her to come to Leblanc. She knew for a fact Sojiro had closed shop a couple of hours ago. Her fingers flew across the keyboard as if dancing as she pulled up the spy cameras she’d installed long ago to keep an eye on her guardian. The screen to her left shifted and showed all; Akira was sitting on one of the bar stools in the café, phone in hand. She zoomed in and felt a bit ill; his hands were shaking. It took a lot to get under Joker’s skin so seeing him show physical signs of distress make her heart speed up.

The teen snatched up her phone: _‘I’m coming I promise.’_ She stood up, bending backwards a little to stretch before silently slipping out. The last several months as a Phantom Thief had improved her stealth greatly and Futaba felt confident in the ‘stat’. She was sure Sojiro was knocked out on the couch; she could hear the T.V playing, some game show to make background noise. The girl slipped on her shoes and went over a couple of streets to Leblanc.

The door was opened which was unsurprising. Morgana was pacing on top of the bar, something she was sure her adoptive father would abhor. Akira sat at the bar like she’d seen in her secret cameras, staring mutely at his phone. “Yo. You called?” she said, tone a little teasing. “Ain’t it early to consult with your local all-seeing Oracle?” A grin played on her lips but that dimmed when her friend looked up at her. There were dark circles under his eyes, something she’d noticed the last few days. Still she’d hoped it was a trick of the light or her imagination.

“Sorry. I just…” he trailed off, another thing that was so uncharacteristic of him. Sure he had moments of long, quiet contemplation but never like this.

“He won’t tell me what’s wrong!” Morgana huffed. His tail was up in agitation. “Can you pry it out of him Futaba?”

The hacker sat next to Akira, resting her head on the wood counter. “Hey, if he doesn’t want to talk I’m not forcing him. It’s not cool.” she replied. Still, she was worried. Scared even. It made her think of her mother. The days before her death, the way she seemed skittish, strung out and on edge. Akira was being the same. “Is something coming?” she asked quietly.

“I’m praying to every God and demon out there it isn’t.” he said, voice strained. Futaba bit her lip; those words were borrowed from Goro Akechi. It still sat wrong with her, what had happened to him. She would be a dirty liar if she said she’d forgiven him. But even still, she didn’t wish death on him; she wished atonement. Something he could never do now.

Akira looked to the small clock in the café. Futaba followed his gaze; 11:55 pm. “Akira…” she mumbled. “Can I have a hint? I know you’re my key item but I don’t mind swapping job classes if you need it.”

“….stay with me until midnight. Please?” He turned to her, grey eyes desperate and seeming a bit unhinged. Futaba was truly becoming afraid now.

“Y-yeah…” Time ticked by. Each minute made the teen boy tenser to the point of the girl wondering if Akira would snap his own spine somehow. Morgana paced impatiently. And then the clock hit midnight. For a few moments Akira, Futaba and Morgana stilled. Nothing.

Akira released his breath slowly. “It’s over. Finally.”

“Over?” Morgana asked. The magical cat looked to a calendar posted by the fridge. “Joker, it’s March 24th. There’s nothing special today. No holidays, no anniversaries…?” He trailed off, looking at the leader of the Phantom Thieves in total confusion. “It’s not even a weekend!”

“I’m sorry I called you over Futaba.” Akira said, turning to the glasses-wearing girl.

Futaba pushed them up, a smile on her face. “No prob. Like I said, if ya need a key item, I’ve got first dibs!”

The teen smiled at that. “Yeah. I’ll remember, promise. You’d better go to bed.

“You too.” With that the red head left.

“What was that all about?” Morgana frowned.

Akira sighed. “I just… wanted to check something.”

“Okay?” The boy ignored the creature, locking the café door and heading to bed. As he changed out of his clothes into pajama, he let the tension leave his body. _It’s over this time. Done. Nothing happened. Tomorrow will be the 25 th._ He lay down on his bed, Morgana taking his position as well. “Sleep well Joker.”

“Night Mona.” Akira mumbled. Without the fear and anxiety he could feel the fatigue weighing him like iron shackles attached to cinder blocks. His eyes closed…

 

*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*

 

“ _Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for riding with us today.”_

Akira jolted at the sound. His bed was gone, a train seat in its place. He could see the world passing by through the subway windows. An agonizingly familiar pair of girls gossiped near where he sat. _No!!!_

“ _We will be arriving in Shibuya shortly. This is the last stop of this line.”_

His hands were shaking in panic as he reached into his pocket for his phone. Unlocking it he saw the date; April 9th. Akira Kurusu felt ill.

_“Please transfer here for all subway lines.”_

He stared at his phone. _How? I didn’t do anything this time!!! I don’t even know what to do anymore!_ He glanced at a nearby businessman’s newspaper; headlines of a recent crash in the subway. Talk of the upcoming elections in December. And the same date as his phone; April 9 th.

_“The doors to your left will open.”_

Akira chocked back a sob as his eyes became hot with unshed tears. _Time’s restarted again. This is the 6 th time!!!_ The girls next to him began chatting about mental shutdowns and something seemed to crack inside of him. He let his face fall into his hands and began to sob quietly, uncaring of the shocked and scandalized looks he could feel aimed at him.


	2. I Write My Sins, Not Tragedies

As Akira walked out of Yogen-Jaya station, he wondered if he should even bother “checking” at Sojiro’s house; he knows he’ll be at Leblanc. The sky was grey like every other time and for once he’s glad. He’d vaguely considered stopping in the middle of Shibuya Crossing just so he could be run over and it all ended. But he knew dying didn’t fix whatever was causing this loop. His mind flashed unbidden back to that time during the 4th loop, the feeling of the metal silencer on his temple. The almost sexual pleasure the thought of dying and having it all stop had felt.

Shaking his head, Akira went directly to Leblanc. As he opened the door, the bell rang and a nauseous sense of being trapped crawled along his skin. Leblanc had become home at first but with the continuous loops it was becoming as much a prison as the Velvet Room the false Igor ran. Just like all other times before, Sojiro complained about his presence, what a nuisance he was. Akira spoke only when he had to. After cleaning up the attic, though, he asked Sojiro for some paper and a pen. The older man seemed confused but went down and came back with a small, black notebook he knew too well. “Here. Your probation officer wants me to report in to him every week. Told me you have to keep a log of your activities too for the first few months.”

“Thank you Sakura-san.” Akira nodded. With a grunt the man left. He waited another minute or two before the café phone rang. He knew the drill and once the sign was flipped over and the place locked tight, he shoved everything off the desk onto the floor in a rush. It was crude but the momentary act of violence felt soothing. With a desk he could use, Akira Kurusu began to write what had happened.

The first time was Loop 0, in his mind. The time when everything had occurred for the very first time. The pain of awakening his Persona, the disgust at seeing Kamoshida’s lust for Ann. The sympathetic twinge in his heart for Yusuke’s suffering and artistic extortion by Madarame for money. The comfort he’d given Makoto as she broke down crying in fear of being forced into prostitution by Kaneshiro. The genuine terror of seeing the Cognitive Wakaba screech that her own daughter should die and Futaba’s willingness to do so. The sick drop of his stomach as the news showed Haru’s father experience a psychotic break and die. All of that and more had been fresh, new, exciting and terrifying.

The second time, Loop 1, had been a mixture of confusion and déjà vu. If he was honest, he wasn’t sure if what was going on was real or not. The same conversations, same scenes, same pains like poking at a wound deliberately to keep it weeping. He talked to everyone, did every job in Mementos Mishima threw at him. It was almost hilarious by the end, the amount of Yen he had. It was almost obscene. It was all for naught. This time he remembered the date though; March 24th.

The third time, Loop 2, he’d sped things up. Maybe if he did it faster, more efficiently, it would stick right? He’s really pushed his friends then – and himself – almost to the point of breaking like sugar skulls Yaldabaoth could then lick up and devour. As if he couldn’t get enough he devoured time quickly. He took on the Big Bang Burger challenge. He’d even snatched the “special one” from Akechi at the Takoyaki Maid cafe at the school festival. If he mindlessly kept going, not paying attention to anything else then maybe it would stick. But despite everything, despite even killing a God in less the 6 months and saving the world, time rewound 2 months after Yaldabaoth’s death.

The fourth time, Loop 3, he felt desperate. How could this have been happening?! He’d saved the world thrice now. Once he even did it in less than half a year. But it seemed that wasn’t the right choice either. And as he laughed and play-flirted and acted like nothing was wrong he began to play with the idea that maybe he was supposed to _lose_. That maybe Akechi was supposed to press the muzzle of the silencer to his temple, pull the trigger and watch the blood run down his face and then splatter onto the metal table with a grin. So when the time came, when Sae-san listened to his story he kept quiet about the phone. Akechi came in, pressed the gun to his head and it was like a twisted release of pleasure when he felt the blood faintly drip down his head. But even dying didn’t seem to satisfy whomever was doing this.

The fifth time, Loop 4, he tried again. He didn’t let Akechi win and as before he perished in Shidou’s Arc. There was a twinge of guilt but he quickly brushed it off. Once he fused Levenza into her whole self again and Yaldabaoth made his offer, he took it. Lavenza had been shocked, tears of betrayal shining in her eyes. He’d watched his friends with a cruel hunger he’d never known before this time around; they didn’t remember anything. They followed his lead and didn’t have to think 5 steps ahead. He hated that he had to remember, had to endure. Why not claim the benefits for himself and make them work instead. Yaldabaoth returned the world to its former state, his friends now shouldering the burden while he was carefree. It didn’t matter though; time reset again on March 24th.

The previous time had been Loop 5. Akira had been at a total loss. He’d tried every major change he could think of and yet nothing came about. The loops had continued. Hope was beginning to drain from him. He hadn’t even tried this time to care. He ignored Mishima’s requests. He didn’t bother to talk with anyone on his team more than needed. He let them take care of the plan to trap Akechi and save him. He’d simply watched and wasted his time away, mostly sleeping or surfing the web. He couldn’t stomach the thought of trying and having to loop again. He’d hoped that maybe by doing nothing at all, by not being active whatever was doing this to him would be sedated that he was broken and crushed in spirit. He’d even watched midnight come and go with Futaba and Morgana at his side. But it was all for nothing.

Now it was the seventh time, Loop 6. He wanted to scream and break everything he touched. Why was this happening? What could he possibly do to change fate and satisfy whatever was doing this? Could his mind take any more before it cracked and he lost it? Not even death would save him; the loop simply restarted and he was alive once more. With a sigh, the teen let her head fall back onto the desk. Despite having “woken up” only a few hours ago he felt as exhausted as if he had been traveling all day. “What am I going to do this time…?” he asked himself out loud. The silence was deafening. He knew that once he closed his eyes he would go to the Velvet Room. Akira wasn’t exactly eager to see “Igor” again. Instead he got up and headed downstairs, leaving the black book behind for now.

After browsing the large selection, he settled on the Columbian beans and began to brew. After doing this for 6 years he was a good as Sojiro. Or at least he felt so. Soon the scent of fresh coffee wafted around him, calming his anger at the situation. As he let the water slowly steep through the filter, he looked around the café. The worn but well cared for tables and booths. He looked to his left at the second to last bar stool. It stood empty but in a few months Akechi would begin to visit. The detective was always a sore spot with him. No matter how many loops he’d gone though, every time the betrayal hurt. Every time his death made his mouth fill with guilt, like bile. It was as if Akechi was destined to suffer eternally. Yes, he hated him for stabbing him in the back again and again. Yet still he craved to smack the brunette and make him open his eyes to how Shidou was pulling him along on a chain, that he had to break free. There was no point though, was there?

Akira took the finished cup of coffee and slowly sipped, savoring the taste. He was well aware Futaba was probably watching, wondering what the hell he was doing. He didn’t care though. He’d meet the hacker in July and help her claw her way out of her own distorted heart. The teen had come to love the girl dearly, a sister in spirit even if no blood was shared. He considered her the closest out of all of them to his heart. Akira placed the cup down on the counter, still half full, and traced the rim idyll. What could he do? He was pretty sure he’d snap soon and just go insane from all of this. It was funny how in books and video games, the hero suffered no consequence from things like this. Despite the repetition – or maybe because of it – the memories were being etched deeper and deeper in his mind as his sanity and patience slipped away, like waves beating away a cliff.

He looked to the wall by the door, the space empty but in 2 months’ time to be adorned with the beautiful painting _Sayuri_. A small smile played on Akira’s face; he really did love that painting. It was a beautiful tribute to the love Yusuke’s mother had for him, the skill that ran through his blood from her. The booth right across from where the painting would be hung was where the artist spent rainy afternoons after school, studying under his mother’s gaze. He took another long sip of the still-warm coffee, the caffeine not holding off the need to sleep much. Akira knew he was buying himself time, a moment to calm down. It was all he had now.

Once done, he washed the coffee pot, the cup, and placed everything away as needed. He climbed up the stairs, changed from his regular clothes to his pajamas, shut off the light and finally crawled into bed. He unlocked his phone and looked at the Mementos app. He hadn’t bothered to delete it in Shibuya and he knew it was useless to do so now. He simple stared at the red eye. “What do you want from me damn it…” he mumbled before letting his arm fall across his eyes, blocking out the light of the lamp from outside. He focused on his breathing and soon slipped into sleep. As he turned over to his side, the phone slid down from his hand onto his floor the phone case keeping it safe from harm, the Mementos app burning like a digital candle.

 

*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*

 

The familiar sound of chains shifting in the air reached Akira’s ears. He knew where he was and kept his eyes closed for a moment or two longer. If he strained his ears he could hear the otherworldly opera that always permeated the air. Just barely though, as if someone was trying to gag the singer into silence.

He opened his eyes, the rich saturated blue almost luminescent in the dark shadows of the cell. He felt the chains around his wrists, his ankle. He remembered how the false Igor had claimed the Velvet Room reflected the state of one’s heart. A few loops ago he’d asked the true Igor if that was correct and he had confirmed it. Akira wondered dimly if the room remained a prison due to his circumstances now, rather than his heart. Sitting up, he glanced at the barred cell door. The twins made their appearance, Justine on his left and Caroline on his right like always. He knew he had to play along; if Yaldabaoth knew he was aware of the time loops he may get into big trouble. Especially if he was the one doing it.

Standing up, the teen walked slowly to the front of the cell. Justine and Caroline smirked at him before turning to their current master. “Igor” looked up, the perpetual smile on his face, and extended his hand. Akira recited the line in his mind in synch with the man at the desk; “Trickster; welcome to my Velvet Room.”

“So you’ve come to, Inmate.” Caroline sneered. Akira simply put his hands around the cold iron bars.

“The ‘you’ in reality is currently fast asleep.” Justine explained. Between the two, Justine’s manners and tone of voice were most similar to her and Caroline's original form as Lavenza. “You are only experiencing this in a dream.”

“You’re in the presence of our Master; stand up straight!” Caroline added, voice biting and demanding. He chose to ignore her.

“Welcome.” “Igor” said, drawing the teen’s attention. “I am delighted to make your acquaintance.” As the usual monologue went on, Akira stayed silent. He knew it all already. He wanted to ask about the “contract” he mentioned but decided it was best to hold his tongue. The contract could refer to his powers as the Wild Card or it could be the reason this time loop was happening. He had no clue either way. As the being in front of him prattled on, Akira began to ponder. He knew by the now the “ruin” being spoken about was the merging of Mementos and the real world by Yaldabaoth in order to wipe humanity out and start anew. But could “ruin” hold more than one meaning? It was possible. He could feel his tempter rising in frustration; he was missing a lot of pieces still and he simply wanted to wretch at the idea of repeating time once again. No, this had to end. “Now then, it seems the night is waning…it is almost time. Take your time to slowly understand this place. We will surely meet again. Eventually…”

He took a chance, hoping the God wouldn't figure out he remebered. “Is ruin caused by sin?”

This made the being pause. “Sin? Mmmm, I cannot say.” The false Igor stopped the endless tapping of his fingers on the desk he sat at. “But it is because man desires that rehabilitation can occur.”

There was a shrill, harsh ringing that resounded. “Time’s up!” Caroline announced, turning on her heel to face him. “Now hurry up and go back to sleep.” He knew there was nothing left to say.

 

*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*

 

When he awoke, Akira sighed at the sight of grey clouds again. Desire and sin. The two rolled around in his mind for a few minutes. These were themes that, since the very first time the events happened, permeated everything. Sin, sin sin. Akira wasn’t terribly religious but even he knew of the Seven Deadly Sins; Lust, Greed, Gluttony, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, Pride. Popular culture salivated over the concept, the grotesque display of humanity’s depravity. But was it that important? He wasn’t sure. His mind kept chasing itself in circles and with a huff he got up and changed. Sojiro would be here soon; he had to get ready for his introduction today.

 

*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*

 

The high schooler waited patiently on the stairs. He sighed quietly, nerves frayed. He tugged at the cuff of his dark brown leather gloves before pulling out his phone. April 10th displayed on the screen. He bit his lower lip. _Again…_ The soft click of heels made him look up, features schooled quickly into a pleasant expression of warmth and a friendly attitude. Internally the teen boy wanted to repeatedly hit his head on the wall until he blacked out; he felt like he was suffocating. “Did you ask for me? Is it a case?” he asked the woman coming down the grand stairs.

“Not quite; I want your opinion on something.” the woman replied, walking past him.

He turned to follow her down. “Sure! Your judgment is quite often correct though.” he pointed out. The silver briefcase emblazoned with an ‘A’ on one side swung as he followed her down. “Can we discuss this over sushi perhaps?” he wheedled. “You _are_ making a student work late after all.”

The woman paused for a moment in consideration before continuing down. “Conveyor belt only.”

“Awwww….”

“Akechi-kun, I can’t exactly afford to treat you to a high-class meal every time I need to talk to you. Besides, I have paperwork to do and you have homework.”

Akechi opened the door for the woman. “Well, I’m ahead of my homework so there’s no need to worry about me Sae-san.” he soothed, smiling. _Besides, this is the 7 th time I’m doing these problems; I already know all the answers._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the title IS a reference to the song. Because why the hell not. XD Please leave a comment letting me know what you think so far!


	3. June 2nd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya! I wanted to do something special for my favorite Pancake Boy but as I was writing this I realized this chapter will actually be canon in the fanfic. Obviously it occurs later and it will be moved to the correct chapter once that chapter is published.
> 
> Until then, enjoy!

The bell signaling lunch rang. Akira Kurusu took out his phone and idyll flipped through the messages he’d gotten; one from Ryuji to hang out, one from Mishima about a new request on the Phan Site. The deadline for Madarame's Palace was in three days. They were cutting it a little close this loop, just like the previous. The teen knew he should care but it was getting hard to. Going back to his home screen, the date blinked innocuously at him; June 2nd. He frowned. _June 2 nd… Why does that date feel important…_

“Hey.” Akira looked up to see Ann looming over him as he stayed seated in his desk. Morgana poked his head out from the desk. “Penny for your thoughts?”

“Huh?”

“It’s a Western expression.” she supplied. “Basically; wanna talk about what’s on your mind? I’m willing to listen you know.”

He signed. “June 2nd. It feels like it’s an important date.”

Ann thought for a moment. “I… think that’s the date Nobunaga was betrayed?”

“No, that’s not why.” He frowned. Turning, Akira looked out the window in thought. The trees outside were fully clothed in thick green foliage, casting shadows in the courtyard below. A few students were milling around. Then the memory hit him like a bolt. “OH!”

“W-what?!” Ann stuttered a bit in shock. But Akira was too busy beating himself up; how could he have forgotten! Ann herself had made a huge deal out of it when they’d found out in the previous time loop. Akechi’s birthday was June 2nd.

The grey-eyed boy turned to his friend. “Ann, is there a pastry shop close by you’d recommend?”

“Pastry shop?” She blinked in confusion at the topic change. “Uhh… Futachou Bakery is pretty good, I’d say. A bit pricy due to location. Their cupcakes are to DIE for though; so fluffy and a delicate crumb…” she trailed off, swooning a little at the memory.

“What’s the address?” Once the information was given Akira knew his next step; finding out which school the detective went to. The plan was already taking shape in his mind, a cupcake placed in a locker with an anonymous note. Yes, it veered a little close to ‘love confession’ territory but he couldn’t think of any other way. June 10th was when Akechi and Akira’s paths would cross, not the 2nd. He didn’t want a repeat of Loop 2.

He decided to scour the fan sites; luckily the Phantom Thieves were still under the radar and Akechi’s popularity was still high. He quickly found his answer. Kousei High. He was in the same school as both Yusuke and Hifumi, the latter of whom he still had not met this loop but would soon. He was a bit surprised at himself; all this time he never knew which school the detective went to. Only in the last time loop did he learn his birthday. Akira wondered sadly why trying to get to know Akechi a little better never crossed his mind. He knew the answer though; after being backstabbed again and again and again it just hurt too much to hope. And even if it worked, time might restart again and their friendship would be forgotten.

Shoving down the sick feeling, Akira quickly started to text Yusuke.

 

_[Akira 12:07 pm] Hey Yusuke is Goro Akechi in your class?  
_ _[Yusuke 12:09 pm] No, he’s a year older then myself. A 3 rd year. Why?_

 

Akira frowned; he hadn’t known Akechi was a year older then him either. Was he really that heartless and shallow like Akechi’s fans despite being on opposite sides?

 

_[Akira 12:10 pm] Does he have a club after school? Or does he go home right away?  
_ _[Yusuke 12:15 pm] He tends to stay in one of the private study rooms unless called away for something. He spends much time there from what the girls in my class said when I asked them._

 

The Phantom Thief grinned. Perfect.

 

_[Yusuke 12:15 pm] Why do you ask? Are you a fan of his?  
_ _[Akira 12:16 pm] Something like that.  
_ _[Akira 12:16 pm] Thanks Yusuke.  
_ _[Yusuke 12:17 pm] Not at all.  
_ _[Yusuke 12:17 pm] By the way; am I correct to assume we will not go to the Palace today?  
_ _[Akira 12:18 pm] Yeah. Tomorrow though. We’ll go the last bit and move to the next step; we have time I promise._

 

With that, Akira took off for his lunch break at Futachou Bakery.

 

*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*

 

“Welcome!” The bell rang cheerfully when Akira entered. The atmosphere was soft and soothing, the walls a faded peach and the shelves either dark lacquered wood or painted bright lavender. Slices of different torts and cakes were behind glass case walls, the edges etched with curls and wings. There were also tarts, trifles in decorative glasses, truffles stacked like pyramids, puddings and of course, cupcakes. “How can I help you today?” The girl behind the counter smiled sweetly at Akira

“Do you have any cupcakes?”

“Of course! They’re a specialty. Which flavor would you like?”

At this Akira was a little stumped. He actually didn’t know Akechi’s flavor preference. He could go with chocolate or vanilla – safe options – but it felt boring. The cupcakes were neatly lined in rows, like soldiers awaiting orders. “What… would you recommend for someone who likes pancakes?”

“Pancakes?” The girl seemed a little confused. “Well… we have a chiffon cupcake with maple buttercream and topped with house made maple candy pieces. Would that do?”

He smiled. “Sounds good.” As the girl opened the cooled case an idea came to mind. “Could I ask for one more thing?”

 

*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*

 

Once school was finished, Akira set off. He would have to take the train to Shibuya where the school was but that didn’t matter. He held the small white box in his hand, doing his best not to jostle the pastry. “So who’s this for anyway?” Morgana asked, peaking up at his partner in crime from the schoolbag.

“It’s for Akechi.”

“Wh- oh. That detective that’s been on the TV shows? But why?”

“It’s his birthday today.” Akira made sure to keep his voice low.

“It is? Huh… but you don’t even know him. And I _know_ you’re not a fan of his.”

 _‘Promise me… in my place…’_ “…he’s an old friend.” The title felt right on his tongue; friend. He knew his relationship with Akechi was a twisted one. But he also felt that if Yaldabaoth hadn’t interfered they truly could have been friends. It was in the spirit of that and for that hope that Akira Kurusu wanted to give Goro Akechi something for his birthday.

When the train arrived he stepped off, quickly making his way to Kousei High. There were some students milling around, their uniforms a mix of white button ups and navy blue slacks or skirts respectively. Some of the female students staying after school looked at him and giggled. His black and red uniform was a stark contrast to their white and blue after all. The teen paused; now that he was here, how was he going to find out which locker was Akechi’s? Unfortunatly he hadn’t thought that part through. “May I help you?”

Akira turned to see the familiar face of Hifmi Togo, his to-be shogi teacher. She looked at him in both mild wariness and concern. “Are you a student here?”

“Yes, I am. A 3rd year. Were you thinking of transfering to Kousei High?” Her voice was soft but strong, just like he remembered. Akira relaxed a little.

“No, a friend of mine goes here. I wanted to surprise him with a birthday cupcake was all.”

“Oh!” Which that, the caution went away from her gaze. “That’s very sweet of you. You’re a kind friend.”

Akira felt heat rise up his chest. “N-not really.” In a way, he was being as manipulative as Akechi was. They weren’t friends. No matter how many loops neither of them reached out. From Akechi’s standpoint there would be no reason because he didn’t remember. But from Akira’s standpoint? He had no excuse. Or rather, he’d made his choice but was trying to have his cake and eat it too now. He remembered the little bit of Dante’s _Pergatorio_ he’d been able to doggedly get through despite the language barrier. _If I don’t even try I’m as bad as Akechi. I’m as bad as a traitor._

“Akechi-san usually secludes himself in a private study room. I saw him head into one when the bell rang.” Hifumi supplied.

“Would you know where his locker is? I can take it from there, leaving my surprise.” he asked.

The shogi player smiled. “Yes, I do. Follow me please.” The pair walked through the halls, almost identical to the ones in Shujin if not a little better kept and cleaned. Posters for different clubs, part-time jobs and competition announcements littered the bulletin boards he passed. Each person’s locker has a combination lock naturally but the Phantom Thief knew that meant nothing to him now. Akechi’s locker was unadorned unlike some of the lockers Akira had passed by. The lock was a simple grey. Nothing remarkable or special about it at all. “He’s had to change lockers twice now. I feel a little bad.”

“How did you figure out which locker was his?” the teen asked, curious.

“Oh, my locker is next to his now. It wasn’t before. He had to change lockers due to the fan letters. I can understand the sentiment…” she trailed off. Akira knew; her own fame was rising and being a girl meant many men young and old were panting after her.

Akira smiled. “Thank you. I can take it from here.” He pulled out the lock pick he’d made a few days ago. It was originally meant for treasure chests in Madarame’s Palace, but he could spare one. With experienced fingers, he lifted the lock to see where the spare key would be used should the owner forget the lock’s combination. A fail-safe. It would now be its undoing. He inserted the thin wires he’d carefully bent and went to work. Hifumi watched with wide eyed but said nothing. She was now having second thoughts about showing where the locker was; Akechi received just as many death threats as he did admissions of love. After a few seconds the simple lock opened under the Phantom Thief leader’s nimble fingers and he smiled in satisfaction. He opened the locker and placed the small box holding the cupcake inside before taking out the small white envelope from his bag and placing it on top of the box. He then closed the door and snapped on the lock like nothing happened. “Mind keeping it a secret?”

“How-How do you know how to do that?” the girl asked.

“I work part-time as a locksmith.” Akira shrugged.

“A-ah.” Hifumi was still a little worried but decided to trust her gut and trust the boy in front of her.

 

*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*~x~*

 

It was 7 pm when Goro Akechi was finally kicked out by a janitor of the school. He hated June 2nd. Over and over again he’d been repeating his lonely 18th birthday. It was a trivial thing but it still ate away at him inside. He didn’t let people know his birthday for a reason. He didn’t want fans squealing over him, showering him with shallow gifts that meant nothing. No, he just wanted to pretend it wasn’t the day he was born. He wanted to pretend it meant nothing at all.

He went to his new locker and spun the combination with ease. When he took off the lock and opened the door he started, slamming the metal door closed again with a resounding bang. He stood there for a few moments, looking at the grey metal like it had personally insulted him. Once his heart beat calmed, he slowly opened the locker door again. The small white box and letter on top hadn’t disappeared. Cautiously, he took the letter first. His name wasn’t even written on it but he knew it was for him. Why else would it be in the locker? He opened the plain envelope and pulled out a folded piece of white paper. The message inside made something crack inside of him.

 

_I hope you have a moment of peace during your birthday. You are my greatest rival and I am glad you were born._

_-Joker_

“Akira…?” Akechi croaked out to the empty air. His eyes felt hot; did he know too? Was it a coincidence? A joke someone was pulling? Regardless, his hands shook as he placed the note in the locker and took out the white box inside. He opened it to reveal a cupcake, sweet and adorned with a little fondant pancake complete with a pad of fondant butter on top.

Tears ran down the boy’s face. _He remembers. God, he remembers. I’m not alone…_ Akechi remembered how in the last loop he’d let his birthday slip. How Akira has said they should celebrate the next time it came around. He’d smiled bitterly behind his usual plastic honey smile and thanked him, knowing it would mean nothing on so many levels. Still, the thought had given him a bit of hope, only to have it torn away as the bullet hit him again in the arc.

An odd but powerful feeling rose up suddenly in the detective and he pulled out the cupcake letting the box fall to the floor. There were no witnesses after all. He tore off the cupcake liner and took as big of a bite as possible, almost like a savage. The maple buttercream was light and silky, sweet but not overwhelmingly so. The cake was moist and Akechi hiccupped a little as he chewed. He wasn’t sure what gave him more relief; the fact that Akira remembered like him or the fact that he’d done this for him. _I want it to stop. I don’t want to keep pulling the trigger. I feel sick every time. Fuck my pride just fuck it I don’t care anymore!_ Akechi messily devoured the rest, crumbs lightly dusting the front of his sweater vest and surrounding his shoes on the floor. He nervously licked the buttercream off his fingers. _But if he remembers I doubt he’ll just accept me with open arms. He’ll remember I keep stabbing him in the back over and over._ The detective was at a loss what to do. He’d finally decided to stop running and forsake his pride but maybe it was just too late.

Still, he wanted to try. He wanted for once to do the right thing, not the self-satisfying thing. The easy thing. But the blood that stained his hands was too deep, almost black now. _What else can I do though?_ And so he decided to let Akira come to him. To see if maybe he would probe and figure out he too remembered. It was the best he could do. And in his mind? Maybe, just maybe, it could be done.

Because not even Akira was crazy enough to give a gift like this unless he too wanted to try and fix the twisted connection that had been forced on them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to TRY to do a weekly update. If it's too much it will be switched to every other week. I AM just an office lady ya know.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure how long this will be sadly. I'll be updating as I have time. Please leave a review! Chapter 1 will be up this weekend.


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